A child gives up many years of passion - what to do?

Parents supporting a little athlete, cheering after a music or dance performance, keeping their fingers crossed during the final presentation of the project, experiencing the awarding of awards and diplomas, creating a photo gallery of the child's success at home ... These are beautiful images that radiate joy, pride and a sense of happiness. And then suddenly the child communicates that he no longer wants to deal with it. What to do - let go and discover new passion or encourage you to continue your hobby?

Relax; it could be a temporary fatigue

Parents' first reaction to the news that their child wants to give up an activity they perceived as passion is usually asked by the following questions: œBut why? What do you dislike? What happened that made you want to give up your successes? Do you feel sorry for those months (years) of training (exercise)? . The answers vary depending on the child's age, relationship with parents, and the degree of commitment:

"I got bored. Nothing will come of this, I will not become a world champion, so why this effort. I am fed up, I want to live like my friends. I want to have time for other things. " It is good for parents to master their emotions and focus on listening to their child, and then engage in a conversation in which they try to discover the real reasons for the decision.

Sometimes the reason is obvious: browsing the weekly timetable for school activities it is difficult to find a moment to rest or relax. Almost every minute is planned. If we add trainings, additional classes, e.g. foreign language lessons, and the time needed to prepare for the realization of passions and interests, it may turn out that the child is constantly working. The pressure that comes with so many classes, coupled with the constant tension to cope with the demands of the school and the trainer, may be unbearable.

If, together with the child, the parents come to the conclusion that this fatigue is the reason why they want to quit extra-curricular activities, you can - also together - think about the schedule of classes and delete what is burdensome and unnecessary. Maybe only a short "vacation" from classes will be needed for the young person to cope with, for example, the accumulated school requirements. Maybe an appointment with the trainer should be made to establish a support strategy? Or maybe a conversation with the teacher at school? It is important for the child to regain enthusiasm.

Relax, it could be a discovery of a life passion

For younger children, changes are and will be quite frequent. In such situations, we rather allow the child to change, because it is a manifestation of searching and getting to know their own abilities. However, if a child is strongly involved in the pursuit of interests, is successful, it has been going on for several years, it is difficult for parents to calmly agree. However, be aware that the message: œAbsolutely! After all, you will not waste so many years of work? " - it is rather putting the matter on the edge of a knife and this may lead to a serious conflict.

Must Read: How to solve problems without arguing?

It is more effective to focus on the child's arguments. It may be that it has indeed come to the conclusion that this is not the field with which it wants to be associated for a long time. Or maybe the parents pushed too hard and now the child wants to do something his own way? Maybe he has just discovered a passion that will give him bread in his adult life? It was Confucius who already said: "Find a job you love and you will never work." Maybe this is the moment?

Of course, it's not usually that simple and straightforward. Sometimes it takes a long time to discover the real reasons why a child is losing enthusiasm for exercise or extracurricular activities. It can be agreed that, for example, extracurricular activities remain until the end of the school year, and if the child still decides to change during the summer holidays, they will not participate in them from the new school year. Then it will be time to observe the child, his enthusiasm and commitment. Maybe it really discovered new and more interesting areas of development?

Relax, this is our child's choice

The message of wanting to give up something that seemed important to a child is difficult for parents to accept. Perhaps it is better to rely on the principle that we bring up for the world, so the child must learn to make independent decisions about his life. Thanks to this, in the future, she will be able to carry out tasks and passions that she will evaluate as valuable for herself. Even if the parents are firmly convinced that their choice was the best for their child, insisting on earlier decisions can be difficult to predict.

Putting pressure on them and making decisions for their child will certainly not restore their enthusiasm for the activity they wanted to give up. The longer it takes, the more difficult it will be to talk to your child about his wishes and plans. However, if parents choose to agree on decisions together, young people will not only receive a message that they can make decisions about their lives on their own with the support of their parents, but also - especially when decisions turn out to be wrong over time - they will learn to deal with the consequences of their choices. . It is an invaluable skill in adult life, impossible to achieve without many experienced experiences in which the parents support, but will not replace the child in their activities. And looking at similar decisions from the perspective of grandma, I can assure you: it is not easy, but it is worth it!