My child began to swear

Very often, as adults, we find ourselves using curses to relieve tension. It mainly occurs because of emotional upheaval, both positive and negative. Such a situation does not seem to be dangerous when profanity comes out of the mouth of an adult, but what happens when the first ugly words start to be spoken by the child? How to respond to them? My child began to swear.

What are curses?

These are highly expressive linguistic signs that many of us use in an uncontrolled manner. Profanity words constitute a large group. However, very often what is already a curse for some, for others may be a word that is not negative.

When the baby starts to swear

Profanity appears in the language of children from an early age, and it is completely natural. But it is up to us - adults - what we do with it and what consequences it will have in the further life of the child. Already a two-year-old often uses profanity, most often simply repeating what he heard from adults.

The child encounters curses and profanity in his surroundings - on the street, on TV, in song lyrics, with family members, friends and classmates from kindergarten and school. She will use them for the same purposes as adults: to discharge emotions, attract attention, offend someone, and later in adolescence to confirm her position in the peer group, not to stand out from colleagues or to impress someone. Profanity is common in the language, for example, a well-known anecdote confirms this:

- Johnny, what did Mr. Kim say after you broke the window in his office?

- And am I supposed to avoid curses?

- Yes.

- It didn't say anything.

How do I respond to my child's curses?

In young children, using bad words is considered to be learning new words and having fun. When a two-year-old swears, he doesn't know yet he's saying a bad word. He repeats what he heard, and it is up to the adults to react what happens next. If the reaction is excessive - we become indignant or we laugh or we forbid the child to do something as a punishment, it will start repeating the word more often because it triggers a specific reaction in the parent. The child is then sure that when he uses a given word, the adult will pay attention to it. If they want to upset us or get our attention immediately, they will say it in a public place, for example, which will cause an even more violent reaction on our part.

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So the behavior of a young child depends on our reaction. At the very beginning, it is usually enough to simply ignore the spoken word or, reacting to it very calmly, explain that this expression is ugly and we do not use it at all in our home. It should also be remembered that if we swear around a child, he or she also has the right to start doing it and we cannot then apply double standards: an adult can, a child not. We should also stick to this principle with regard to older children.

Even an older child can use profanity unconsciously - he just doesn't know the meaning of the word he heard somewhere. Then you have to explain it to him, define why it is vulgar, use a dictionary or indicate its different meanings and reception depending on the context in which it appears. The older the child, the greater the amount of passive profanity. Each language contains a wide range of ugly words, and the curiosity is that in a foreign language it is often easier for us to swear. At a certain stage of learning a language, both native and foreign, as well as knowledge of literature, ugly words will also appear as an element fulfilling an artistic function or inducing an aesthetic shock. So we all have profanity in our vocabulary since childhood, but we use them to a different extent and for different purposes.

What in exchange?

If a child swears in order to unload or relieve his bad emotions, it is possible to suggest replacing the vulgarity used at that time with a neutral word or domestic neologism. It is a good idea to make an agreement that when a child feels that he wants or needs to say an ugly word, we replace it with something else - funny, funny or naming something the child does not like. After all, swearing is not about the word itself, but about the reaction that comes with it. Properly said or even shouted out: a water chanterelle, a blue monkey or a Brussels sprout! will fulfill the same function as the word commonly regarded as profanity.

A child, and especially a teenager, must also be aware that in different situations, we use a different range of vocabulary for different people. The use of profanity may, for example, strengthen a sense of belonging to a peer group or even be required by some groups. The use of too high a tone, on the other hand, may be perceived as exaltation, and even provoke dangerous behavior of our recipient. Sometimes we are forced to resort to profanity, but you have to do it consciously. It is worth reminding the child from the very beginning that the excessive and inadvertent use of profanity proves poor vocabulary (and yet none of us want to be judged this way). It also testifies to the lack of good manners.

It is important to teach your child that a well-mannered person can express their emotions differently and relieve stress. However, I think that every language user must go through the phase of using profanity, tame them, then they will lose their attractiveness and we have them in our passive vocabulary. They are a living part of the dictionary of any language.