Holidays are associated with long hours spent with the family. It happens that this results in unnecessary tension, conflicts and bad mood. And that’s not the point! We should use this time as best we can. Maybe it is worth focusing on getting to know your child better, closer and deeper? Download game attachments.
Don’t waste your chance
I encourage you to use the leisure time together to get to know your relatives better – children or spouse. It is only up to us whether we will growl at each other or become interested in ourselves. We probably have joint plans, which we have put off so far due to lack of time – this is a great time to implement them! The message that could accompany us now is: “be with our children, body and soul.”
What does it mean?
- Deep conversations with children about what they think, what they feel, what they fear, what interests them, what they dream about. They require time to listen and to be genuinely interested in another person.
- Discussing important topics, e.g. about values such as respect, honesty, responsibility, courage, wisdom. Listening to how our child understands them, what they mean to him, to what extent he sees them in his own life and in the life of our family.
- Spending time together – playing together, reading, singing, making music or doing various jobs for the home and family. Parents who allow their children to do something for the common good, contribute to family life, and recognize and appreciate it, have a significant impact on the child’s self-esteem.
- Showing love, patience, attention and empathy.
Building a relationship
Building relationships is getting close to our child emotionally and physically. It is curiosity about him as a human – what he thinks,
What he laughs about, what he likes to joke, what he posts online, what people he likes, what he watches on YouTube. It may also be our request to explain what, for example, a certain game is, and also our readiness to learn it and play it together with the child. During this time together, when we sort of enter the child’s world, you can learn a lot about his everyday life. To do this, we have to get rid of our parental grievances in the form of questions: why, why, again, how can you, etc. Being in the world of a child is full, authentic acceptance without judging, ridiculing, criticizing, ridiculing or deprecating. Perhaps it is worth using this rest time for reflection and try to answer the following questions:
- What kind of relationship do I want to build with my child? How do I want her to look like?
- How do I spend time with my child now, what am I doing to take care of our relationships?
- How do I imagine our relationship in 20-30 years, what am I doing now for the future?
- What do I want to talk about with my child, what do I want to have in common with him when he grows up?
What does it mean to know your child?
It means understanding it, liking it and accepting it as it is. It also means that I know what my child likes and dislikes, what makes him sad and what worries him.
When asked if you know your child, most of us would answer without hesitation “but of course, what kind of question is that?” However, not always what we think about ourselves is consistent with reality. I suggest you a mini fun called “Do you know your child” find the necessary materials. Once printed, give one version to your child and leave the other for yourself. As parents, you can answer questions together, but I think it will be more interesting if everyone does it separately on a separate piece of paper. After everyone has answered the questions, sit down with a good cup of tea and delicious cookies and compare the answers. If most of your parental responses agree with your child’s responses, congratulate yourself because you seem to know your child well. If not, it may be time to set different, new priorities, where one of the important points is to devote more time to your baby.
C – Patience
Z – Delight
A – Acceptance
S – Respect
The word time is therefore an indication of what the child needs most from the parent.
Patience – it is gentleness in contact with a child, it is delicacy, but also understanding and peace.
Delight – it is genuine joy in the presence of a child, the fact that the child is there. At workshops for parents, I usually ask you to recall your delight when we saw a child for the first time and to consider whether we look at it with similar enthusiasm today. If not, it is worth considering what I can do to bring this delight back.
Acceptance is loving the baby as it is.
Respect – it is concern for the feelings and welfare of a child, it is recognition of what he says, what he experiences, what he wants and what he doesn’t.
The presented definition of time applies not only to the relationship with the child. It is also helpful in reflecting on the quality of time we spend with other people who are important to us.
Let the children speak
What if the children were to ask, how would they like to spend time with their parents and what to learn about them? What if we allowed them to plan this time and, without commenting, submit to what the child proposes to appreciate and thank? I think it is also a good opportunity to get to know each other. For the child to get to know the parent, what he likes, what he enjoys, what he dreams about, etc. There are many ideas for getting to know a parent and it is also worth taking into account the opinions and suggestions of our children.