A highly sensitive child - how to support them

Psychologist - calls highly sensitive children orchids. Orchid is an extremely demanding flower that needs special conditions for development. Only when we take proper care of it, will a rich number of flowers bloom. It is similar with highly sensitive children. If they are loved unconditionally, treated with care, in spite of various inconveniences, there is a high probability that their high sensitivity will become their potential, not a problem. highly sensitive child.

The first thing parents should do is accept their child's temperament. It may be helpful to know that high sensitivity is not any disease or disorder that needs to be treated. This is a genetically determined trait. It happens that the parents of highly sensitive children, they themselves were very sensitive children in their childhood and are now highly sensitive adults. They also know intuitively what their child may need to feel accepted and understood. However, it happens that a highly sensitive child has moderately or not very reactive (sensitive) parents who do not always know how they can support their child so as not to put stress on them.

What can a parent do?

First of all, you should believe your child that something hurts, stings, scratches or is disturbing. Even if it seems strange or unlikely to us. Make sure that younger children, in particular, are fed, hydrated and refreshed. Thanks to this, they will be less exposed to overstimulation, and if it does occur, they will regain balance faster.

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Parent tips

• Do not use it alone and do not let others use negative, offensive labels towards your child, e.g. crying, hysterical, oversensitive, recluse. If possible, try to change them into positive words, e.g. very sensitive, empathetic, compassionate.
• Try to understand your child's behavior according to the principle that each child behaves the best he can and does it to take care of himself and his needs. It is worth remembering that any behavior of your child is not directed against you, but only tells about some of his discomfort.
• If you are able to remove the discomfort, just do it without unnecessary comment, e.g. change wet socks to dry ones. If it is impossible, as it also happens, be sure to tell the child about it. Then take care of his emotions. Sometimes your mere presence can be soothing. If you know when the change will be possible, say so. Use a calm tone, calm gestures. Be gentle with your words and deeds.
• Appreciate your child's efforts, even if they are unsuccessful. It is important to recognize the workload. Try to ensure that your child has at least one particular competence in an area where they will be successful. This will strengthen his self-esteem. It could be some school subject, art form, or sport that your child prefers.
• Try to organize your family life in such a way that there is as little pressure or competition as possible. If you know that this is not possible, talk to your child about this situation in advance to prepare them for it, but also to determine what can help him then.
• Talk to your baby about emotions when he is calm and comfortable. By naming, it learns to name what it feels. Also, look for strategies to deal with especially difficult emotions like anxiety, fear, sadness, anger.
• Remember that your child is inherently cautious and new things, people, situations must be introduced slowly and with great patience. Small steps that are easy for a child to adopt will work, e.g. when you are at his friends' birthday party, let him be close to you. Don't expect him to run to his friends and play with them. It takes more time for this step than its peers.
• Take care of moments of peace and quiet, e.g. playing alone. In highly sensitive children, the body is overloaded very quickly and easily. Because the brain is unable to process the stimuli that reach it. This excess results in overstimulation, and in behavior it manifests itself in nervousness, hyperactivity, irritability, and problems with concentration. The orchid child needs a quiet and secluded place to play, learn, relax.
• Plan your time during the day to avoid overstimulation and thus overstrain of the nervous system.
• When your child is older, you can talk to them about high sensitivity about what they are and how they can care for themselves when their supporter isn't around.
• Communication with a highly sensitive child should be kind, calm and patient. Remember that your baby receives even subtle messages from the body. That is why delicacy is needed so that our words or gestures do not overwhelm the child. Talk gently and calmly about your expectations, limits and needs.

Highly sensitive children need safe relationships at home and at school. They must feel that they are unconditionally accepted, respected and that their opinion is taken into account. For this to be possible, you need to turn off various unfavorable voices from the environment in your head, e.g. that you pamper them, make him a sissy or feel too sorry for him. Safe relationships are those in which you do not force the child to do anything, you do not force anything, you do not press for fear of evaluation, and you give time and are open to the child achieving his goals at his own pace. Parents only have to accompany, be ready to help